How to write a Dan Brown novel in about 22 easy steps

So I just finished reading Dan Brown's latest book "The Lost Symbol". I read it because of how much I like Dan's previous books - Deception Point, Angels and Demons & The Da Vinci Code. The other reason I read it is because it was based on the Freemasons and based in the mysterious city of Washington D.C., the link between which I have been fascinated by for the past few years.

The book really is good, there is no two ways about it. Naturally, Dan just applied his usual formula. If you want to write your own bestselling Dan Brown style book just these simple steps and you've got a sure bet:

1. Always start the story with a real live fact or quote. Something to get the readers feeling that this story is based in truth.
   
2. Get the reader engaged very quickly by packing the first few chapters with action and drama.
   
3. The story should start in the evening, but watch out; time is running out!
   
4. As one of your leading men you should include at least one mild mannered Harvard professor named Robert Langdon. He should be claustrophobic to the point of fearing elevators. Put Robert into an elevator if you have the chance.
   
5. The female lead (who ends up sparking some sort of romantic connection with Robert) should be a close relative to a main character who was either put in great danger or killed in the first few pages.
   
6. Other characters should be ridiculously important people of power and influence, but nobody you ever heard of. Robert should be well acquainted with them by the end if they survive.
   
7. Robert should get pulled into some crazy chase (usually international) involving one or more of the most highly secretive of authorities (never the normal police).
   
8. Your readers should have a hard time figuring out who is on whose side (except for Robert and his female lead; they are on the same side which fuels romantic tension).
   
9. The heart of the story should include one or more of the following (usually 2 of them):
   a) Recent scientific breakthrough
   b) Occult societies
   c) Religious secrets
   
10. The world (as we know it) is usually at stake.
11. There should be a bunch of puzzles & enigmas riddled with symbols and ancient history that only a highly educated symbologist (my spell check doesn't like that word) like Robert Langdon could possible solve. Sometimes his female lead has super unreal skills that are also essential to the plot.
12. People have to die.
13. Robert and your female lead should be constantly under pressure. You can't let your readers put down the book. This is key!
14. Lead your readers to believe that your story will be going in one direction and then go in the other. Repeat.
15. The reader should constantly be questioning why Robert isn't pocketing some of the cool stuff he runs into along the way.
16. At least once Robert's life should be put in great peril in a nightmarish claustrophobic scenario.
17. The story should come to a breathtaking culmination at which point the reader should realize who is good and who is bad.
18. The mastermind villain should turns out to be a fanatic idealist. He or she dies or is arrested.
19. Whatever the villain was trying to achieve (or find) ends up being something completely different than they thought. Usually simpler and less potent.
20. Usually only Langdon and a few others actually know the entire truth after all is said and done.
21. The reader should learn a valuable life lesson and gains a whole new outlook on life, religion, science or some occult society.
22. You can throw in some of your own ideas too it you want.

Originally I was going to write a review about the book, how it relates to popular conspiracy theories and I'll put up some links to related videos and fun stuff. Instead, I've been sidetracked by the Vancouver Olympic Women's Hockey then the Ice Skating (both won by Canada BTW). I promise I'll do a good job on the review at a later date and stir up my own conspiracy theory, but only if I have time, which I won't.