Racey Sunday

I'm gonna start this blog entry with a rhetorical question. You may submit your answers to me via my gmail account.

"Have YOU ever witnessed a go karting race featuring some of the worlds best known leaders like Michael Gorbachev, Barak Obama and Kofi Annan?"

The correct answer is no. I haven't either, but you have to admit that it would be pretty cool. Instead, this weekend, I settled for a go-karting race in Florianopolis which featured NASCAR's Jeff Gordon, F1's Felipe Massa, and his teammate, 7 time Formula 1 Champion Michael Schumacher. Not a bad line up. I mean they are no Jigme Thinley or Ivo Sanader but they do have a modest following in the underground go-karting world.

Anyway, I went on Saturday to see the qualifiers and that was all good and well. Got lots of sun (avoided a burn) and pictures. I ate this cool desert which rivals the Ottawa Beavertail. They are called churros. Churros are basically cylinder shaped pieces of deep fried (corn?) dough, filled with your choice of either caramel, milk chocolate or dark chocolate icing, rolled in cinnamon and sugar. The fact that it is brought to your seat completes the experience. I had 2 of them and immediately called a my gym's 24 hour toll free confession line. Here is an artists rendition of me enjoying one of these Lucifer Snacks TM at... lets say; an international go-karting championship featuring 7 time Formula 1 champion Michael Schumacher.


Sunday was the day of the race. An estimated 12,000 fans. Here are 3 of them:

For those interested in reading about the trivial parts of the race such as the outcome feel free to open this link in a new browser. You can read it once your done your second reading my blog. Now getting back to my antics: the race was preluded (thats right... I conjugated it) by some formalities. I YouTubed some video for all to see. Here are the racers lining up for the start of the 1st heat.

Coincidentally, famed tennis star Gustavo Kuerten came walking down the very street that the race was being held on! I took immediate advantage of the situation by filming the event.

Here is a podium shot of the overall winners. Rubens Barrichello is clearly giving me the "stink eye", that SOB bastard! Thinks he can champagne on my parade does he? What does he know anyway?


Post podium, the winners wasted wine as is tradition in the go-karting community. After this video all my pictures and videos are shot through a slightly blurry lens. I blame the media, but some argue that Lucas Di Grassi was the main culprit. Rubens Barrichello was also at the scene of the crime but if anything, the silent Felipe Massa was likely the massa-mind behind it all.

Here are the girls that were so kind as to hold umbrellas and signs for the racers with their names on them so that they remember the correct spelling.

After that shoot was over there was only one thing left to do: meet some local celebrities! Strategically, I decided to start at the municipal level, meeting Florianopolis Mayor Dario Elias Berger. Now if my memory serves him, our conversation went something like this:
Mike: Dear good sir Mayor, what a fine event you have provided for your constituency on this day, The Day of The Great Race!
Mayor: I could not agree with you more fair and simple peasant. The day was unblemished by any coups at any level of government.
Mike: You are correct sir. I would add that accusations of corruption are also at an all time low: a great cause for celebration!
Mayor: Another excellent observation kind minion of the land! I share your enthusiasm for our population containment strategies and wish you a long life of devotion to the flag! Be gone!

Now I can't remember all the details of the conversation, for example which parts were left in, which ones were left out, which ones were taken in or out of context or which ones were merely slanderous without basis. But if there one thing that I can assure you; its that this conversation may have taken place but it probably didn't.

After that the governor of the state of Santa Catarina had the pleasure of meeting me. Or at least the people around me.

Here are some more amazing pictures highlighting some of 7 time Formula 1 Champion Michael Schumacher's greatest achievements:


"Oh! 7 time Formula 1 Champion Michael Schumacher, what great honor won't be bestowed upon you?!"

Also, in an unexpected turn of events, it was declared that I had won the race. I was immediately granted irrevocable knighthood by the 5 richest kings of Brazil, which topped off my day nicely.


In between all the celebrities, action and volcanoes, there were some interludes where the go-karts would drive around the track for extended periods of time, which seemed to distract the crowd enough to avoid an uprising. I have some digital media recordings of that as well which will be saved for another time. It should be noted however that I did see 7 time Formula 1 Champion Michael Schumacher crash a go-kart into a wall of tires bounce off it pulling a fluid 360 and get right back into the race. I only have a short video of me laughing my ass off and then another of him with a bent fender. Again, I'm saving those for a slow news day.

Be gone!

The weekend that was rained out... and yet not?!

As many of you may or may not be aware I had plans of going to Rio de Janeiro this weekend with Sonia who had been visiting me this past week. We canceled our trip to Rio mainly because of the weather has been so terrible in Rio (although they haven't had the mudslides that our state has). Anywho, I managed to salvage the weekend by taking advantage of some work related extra curricular activities. I have lots to write about so I will start with Firday night then write the rest as I have time.

Friday:

Replicating an ancient tradition at Stela, we have re-started playing Football on Fridays. Although their version of Football has none of the same rules that we are used to. It resembles something closer to a combination of soccer, theater and pretending to be an airplane.

12 or 13 of us participated and it was a lot of fun. We all met directly after work at the gas station where it is customary for football teams to drink their warm up round of beer before heading to the inside turf field (Similar to hockey "cerveja leagues" in Canada). We divided up some teams and proceeded to the kickoff. They are really terrible at this part and I think that I can really help them on strategy here. Anyway like I said, they pretty much play only with their feet, which is primarily why I draw the comparison to soccer.



I got the ball within about 2 minutes into the game. I ran for about 10 metres and proceeded to fall for no apparent reason. I explained to them that in Canada, when you play with a new group it is proper etiquette to fall flat on your face, (preferably scraping your knee) when first touching the ball. This, I explained is a sign of respect to the other players and their ancestors. I'm pretty sure that they appreciated my gesture and we continued to play but this time with a deeper understanding of our cultural differences.

We played for about an hour after which I was dead. I need to play some hockey to get my "wind" back. This is a good way to do it. Anyway that accounts for my Friday night. I went home and straight to be cause Saturday was a big day and only a lead up for Sunday (lots of video and pictures and celebrities).

Stay tuned!

Too much rain

There has been WAY to much rain in Southern Brazil recently. I don't have any radio or TV but I hear that some areas are declaring "state of calamity" because of road washouts and stuff. Hasn't affected me except that at work there is no running water. We deal with it.

My placement in Brazil

Many people have asked about my internship here in Brazil. I ended up creating this visual aid to help people understand who is funding me and what the process is. From a high level, this is my understanding:

Fishing Sunday

This Sunday I woke up at about 4:45AM (my neighbors got home early from Floripa's Saturday night party culture), I waited till about 5:20 when my alarm went off then I got dressed, packed my sun lotion and bug spray and headed to the bus stop. The bus packed up pretty quickly as party goers piled in. I arrived at the bus station at 6:40 and got picked up by my trusty friends Nilda and Luciano. We left the city and headed to Luciano's Beach house for hours of fun; fishing for tiny anchovies. Here are some digital memories for you to cherish:

From Luciano & Nilda fishing

From Luciano & Nilda fishing

From Luciano & Nilda fishing

From Luciano & Nilda fishing

Later we decorated the Xmas tree.

From Luciano & Nilda fishing

This is the first time I've been fishing since cousin Billy and I caught those Muskies with the infamous Bill Craig.

From Muskie Fishing

From Muskie Fishing

Birthday Election Game Party Fun Night

Last Tuesday was my first of many birthday-election-game-party-fun-nights. I turned 27 two weeks late, Obama got elected, the Republican Senators lost in Washington, the Democrat Senators won in Washington and the Ottawa Senators won against Washington in Ottawa. Unfortunately I was in Florianopolis at the time and missed the whole thing.

But luckily Marc was able to complete my clone surrogate stand-in so that I could take in the event. Good hustle Marc!


Here is a picture of my surrogate stand-in enjoying myself at the party. "Take it easy Surrogate Stand-in Mike! ... I have to work in the morning!".

Now I remember the party very well due to the extra effort we put in to develop a ToIP (Telepathy over Internet Protocol) platform so that I could read the mind of my Surrogate using my 10 Mtps (Mega thought per second) high speed connection. Luckily we implemented call waiting so that my surrogate stand-in could simultaneously defeat Viktor Korchnoi in an online chess match without missing a beat. Way to go Surrogate Stand-In Mike! Way to defend Mother Russia against that Western-sympathizing defector! When will they learn?: "The Ukraine not weak; the Ukraine strong! I crush your stupid game!". It should also be noted that "In Soviet Russia, Surrogate Stand-In Mike downloads from you!". (Using the new Telepathy over Internet Protocol)

Anyway, due to the success of ToIP, we are planning a new product which will implement Collective Conscience Conference Calls: Its all part of my Psychic Collaborative Suite set to come out just at the dawn of the age of Aquarius. I hope everyone will be there for the opening... Bring your crystals and dream catchers!

Thanks to everyone who took part in the Birthday Election Game Party Fun Night who, my technology training tells me, includes Pat, Phil, France, Marc, Surrogate Stand-In Mike and possibly a distracted Viktor Korchnoi.

This just in: Additional "generic birthday appreciation thank you" to Sean O'Leary who probably took the picture of us based on the fact that it seems to be taken from a height of about 6'4" plus a chair or so.

Past few weekends

So I haven't posted anything for a while, but today I brought my camera to work and decided to download all my pictures from the past few weekends so that I can update everyone on whats been going on. I'll start with a couple weekends ago. This would have been about the weekend of my birthday. Two co-workers of mine graduated from their university program and a bunch of us went to the ceremony, reception lunch, and party that night. Here are some maximum extreme pictures:


Don't have any pictures from lunch but I can guarentee you that it was delicious and all you can eat buffet. BTW, in case I haven't mentioned it, buffets are huge here in Brazil... I'm talking HUGE! Some are all you can eat and others are pay per KG but either way is a good deal. After lunch it was raining something nasty so it was decided that the car battery should die. It did.

Later that night we all went to the party and stayed super late. There are a bunch of pictures of this somewhere but I can't find them anywhere. I'll post later I guess. Here is me and Dhiogo. He drove that night and some of us went to McDonald's that night. One thing that never ceases to amaze me is that no matter where you are in the world; McDees always makes you feel just as sick after you eat it.



The next weekend was just as rainy... I'm not quite sure exactly what I did that weekend but I can guarantee you this Madame: no much. Saturday night we did go to a bowling alley, ate some overpriced food then walked out cause one of the managers was being an ass. We went to the movies instead. Saw the Al Pacino & Robert Dinero movie. Was not bad... a rental. Afterwards we met some other friends who had seen the movie before us but had gone back home to Karaoke. We went and joined in on the Japanese inspired fun. I scored a 78% on a CCR song, an 83% on a duet of "With or Without you" and a whopping 91% on "Hotel California"! Whodathunkit? I'd also like to add a WHOOOOOOAAAAAAA!!! in honor of Al Pacino. Here is "House of Karaoke" (lil reference to the old House of Chung in Ottawa... now Peach Gardens.


Some of you may be axing yourselfs: "Hey, dat deres a preddy sweet house." You'd be absotively correct my slow witted, literacy challenged colleague! The girl who lives there is super nice and apparently a pro tennis player.

Finally, last weekend I went to a B-Day party at the trendiest rock club on the island... close to where I live... naturally. I attract such things. Here is a pic to satisfy your seemingly endless thirst for knowledge in the area of my personal life.



At this point I find it appropriate to inquire: "What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?"
The next day I went to a search for monkeys with my good friend Alessandro.
And if you must know... YES.. we found the elusive Jade Monkey... it was in the glove compartment. Also the maps and flashlight were there too... but NO.. we didn't take a picture of him... thats just what he would expect us do to...
Here are some more pics from that park where we (for the record) never saw the monkeys ;)


Monkeys where seen here:


Don't fool yourselves! If you think for one minute that the two layers of reenforced steel chain linked fence is keeping me safe at this moment, you'd be dead wrong... you may even be dead. This here is one tough character! This oversized rabbit from Rio is THE Frank "The Armoured Car" Hernandez: The meanest, most bad mannered mini mammal in the park. His fur has fleas the size of medium-to-large fleas!


And in the other corner, "The Alligator with No Conscience Nor Any Known Transmittable Diseases", approved by 4 out of 5 dentist: Ron!


I do have some footage of the a "Battle To The Death" between the 2 behemoths but due to the graphic nature of the footage, the fact my mainstream demographic is still in high-nightmare-occurrence range and to keep those meddling animal rights activists of my case while I am still on probation after that ostrich-quail cock fighting ring stint (god that was a good run while it lasted): I have decided to keep the footage offline. Plus I can't stand to see Alligators get decapitated like that. It's just gross. Damn that Frank is a real fighter. Cost me a fortune! I paid that bastard to take a dive, but Frank dives for nobody... NOBODY! Now I have that shylock The Jade Monkey on my back almost half the time!

Also I went to another rooftop party that night and nothing happened on Sunday, bye.