Welcome Home Tribute

As part of my "Welcome Home" package. I just received this "Welcome Home Mike" Video:



Please watch it.

Now after watching it you are more confused than anything then you should:
1) spend more time on the internet
2) read this explanation

Consider yourself baptized.

Mike Cooks Meat - Part 1: Randolf Salmon in Canada

Welcome back me! I'm back in Canada now; for all those who have been living under a Canadian Shield. BTW, does the shield still exist and has it begun filing for bankruptcy protection yet? I've been away quite a while, not sure what to expect.

Anyway, as I have the liberty of eating at home I have chosen to eat foods fit for only the 5 awesomest re-integrating Canadians in Ottawa. This unique set of circumstances will give way to Mike Cooks Meat. MCM is an ongoing, multi-part, online tribute to Steve Carell & The Daily Show's "Produce Pete" which used to be the center of my culinary/comedy universe.

On today's menu was my latest creation which I will call Randolf. Randolf is a Pan fried salmon steak. You can serve it with or without a side of patriotism. I personally serve my Randolf with a portion of unemployment and a dash of "where the hell is the sun? I want to go back to my southern paradise".

Here is a view of today's Randolf lunch:


And this is an artists rendition of what my Randolf may have looked like only seconds after I released my appetite at it.

No Randolf's where actually harmed in the creation of this rendition. Well, maybe one Randolf. Ok, I gobbled the F*&%ing thing... are you happy!? I stalked it like a social insurance recipient stalks the mailman. Then I pounced like hobo onto a moving freight train filled with restaurant garbage in easy tie glad bags. It was a glorious meal. In a rating system based on a scale of an undisclosed number of stars, I give it 3 1/2 thumbs up. I don't much like being boxed into closed paradigm rating systems anyway.

Recipe available upon commented request.

Tribute to Alex P. Keaton

This is an extension to my “Tribute to beautiful” which was arguably influenced by my great admiration of Television’s Alex P. Keaton; a lovable, ambitious, egocentric, profit seeking character from the hit series Family Ties. Michael J. Fox’s portrayal of Alex was the personification of young corporate America in its rawest form during the 1980s (decade of greed) and was a positive inspiration to myself and all other profit minded kids of those days of Yore.

My “Tribute to beautiful” was inspired by a radio jingle that Alex wrote for himself. The tune, whose lyrics were simply “Alex Keaton, he’s so cute”, can be seen in an episode called Blues Brother from season 6 of Family Ties. The jingle cracked me up so bad that I remember it to this day, along with every other mundane detail of my life from 1985 on.

I’d also like to thank Wheelrchair for this episode reference.

Not being able to locate that actual clip, I will leave you with this tribute video:

Tribute to Cory "gory, story, allegory, montessori" Clouston

I can't say I've been watching much hockey this year. But whatever was wrong with the Ottawa Sens has been apparently fixed by Sir Cory Clouston Kensington the 3rd of Binghamton. Czech out these facts:

	Games	Points	Points/Game
Before Cory	48	41	0.85
With Cory	24	33	1.38
Total	72	74	1.03

THAT my friends is what's known in the "biz" as a 61% improvement! Now I may not know much about hockey, sports, business, math or personal hygiene.


Go Sens Go!

Tribute to beautiful (My automontagery)

With only one week left here in Florianopolis, I decided that it was about time to produce a musical montage to go over what has happened in the past 7 months. And "Yes" it has been that long. How have you all managed to make it this far? Anyway, with a bit more delay, here is a video that takes what everyone has been thinking and compresses it perfectly so as to fit nicely into a well timed montage format. Enjoy and remember; to show your love for something or someone, always use a music montage. I know I usually don't.

"If a picture is worth a thousand words and a movie is a series of hundreds or thousands or even hundreds of thousands of pictures, then a montage of dozens of movies must be worth at least 5 thousands of words. Plus if you add in some emotional Joe Cocker tear jerking music to the background, your montage can be worth millions! I made this one and will be getting it appraised at the "antique music montage roadshow"."

Mike

THE Hammock District

This is my answer to Marc's "La Maison du Hamac" discovery; I took a little bus ride to Canasvieras and came across one of the island's Hammock districts. Although this little village is impressive, it pales in comparison to many of the Amazonian communities, where hammocks are used as the local currency.

PS: "Rede" means "Hammock".

So you're Canadian, eh?

Here is a presentation I gave at Stela in my first few weeks to bust Brazilian Stereotypes about Canada and Canadians. To break the belief that Canadians are nice and culturally tolerant people, I filled the presentation with racism, cultural bias, secular overtones, prejudice, bigotry and aimless discrimination directed specifically at non-Canadians who do not identify with.

I hope that you find the presentation oppressive and morally bankrupt. :P