Two of the best things in the sports and entertainment world... ok, in the entire known world, are the NBC series 30 Rock and the Ottawa Senators (at Scotiabank place). I think this goes without saying. Now what if those two things were combined into one mega-best thing? Has this question been keeping you up at night and haunting your dreams? Have no fear! Your dreaming days have come to an end!
In this 30 Rock scene, Danny had made a "psych-up" song for the Ottawa Senators which had been nominated for a Juno in the same category as Sir Dave Coulier (who must be the same Dave Coulier who played Joey Gladstone in Full House).
The catchy lyrics were:
“The crowd’s getting loud at Scotiabank Place! Make a hockey lovin’ face at Scotiabank Place!”
The sad thing is that this is the caliber of "psych-up" music that they would actually play Scotiabank Place. 'Tis a sad day in Canadian sport "psych-up" song history when NBC writers can write "psych-up" songs at will, which are as good, if not better than the ones that Canadian our teams play.
One final thing: In the video of Danny while he is singing... look at his pants. Are they skin tight and beige? Or he simply not wearing pants? Why would you write that into the scene!?!?! This show is so ridiculous that even I can love it. Bless your tender heart 30 Rock, bless your rock-tender heart.
I think we should petition to get this song as our official psych-up song. If I could do that I would probably consider it my life's biggest - and shortest lived - accomplishment. A man can dream can't he?
Here is a reminder of why you should not believe something just because someone says it with confidence or authority. Not even NewsWeek can predict the future. Enjoy!
The Internet? Bah! Hype alert: Why cyberspace isn't, and will never be, nirvana By Clifford Stoll | NEWSWEEK From the magazine issue dated Feb 27, 1995
After two decades online, I'm perplexed. It's not that I haven't had a gas of a good time on the Internet. I've met great people and even caught a hacker or two. But today, I'm uneasy about this most trendy and oversold community. Visionaries see a future of telecommuting workers, interactive libraries and multimedia classrooms. They speak of electronic town meetings and virtual communities. Commerce and business will shift from offices and malls to networks and modems. And the freedom of digital networks will make government more democratic.
Baloney. Do our computer pundits lack all common sense? The truth in no online database will replace your daily newspaper, no CD-ROM can take the place of a competent teacher and no computer network will change the way government works.
Consider today's online world. The Usenet, a worldwide bulletin board, allows anyone to post messages across the nation. Your word gets out, leapfrogging editors and publishers. Every voice can be heard cheaply and instantly. The result? Every voice is heard. The cacophany more closely resembles citizens band radio, complete with handles, harrasment, and anonymous threats. When most everyone shouts, few listen. How about electronic publishing? Try reading a book on disc. At best, it's an unpleasant chore: the myopic glow of a clunky computer replaces the friendly pages of a book. And you can't tote that laptop to the beach. Yet Nicholas Negroponte, director of the MIT Media Lab, predicts that we'll soon buy books and newspapers straight over the Intenet. Uh, sure.
What the Internet hucksters won't tell you is tht the Internet is one big ocean of unedited data, without any pretense of completeness. Lacking editors, reviewers or critics, the Internet has become a wasteland of unfiltered data. You don't know what to ignore and what's worth reading. Logged onto the World Wide Web, I hunt for the date of the Battle of Trafalgar. Hundreds of files show up, and it takes 15 minutes to unravel them—one's a biography written by an eighth grader, the second is a computer game that doesn't work and the third is an image of a London monument. None answers my question, and my search is periodically interrupted by messages like, "Too many connectios, try again later."
Won't the Internet be useful in governing? Internet addicts clamor for government reports. But when Andy Spano ran for county executive in Westchester County, N.Y., he put every press release and position paper onto a bulletin board. In that affluent county, with plenty of computer companies, how many voters logged in? Fewer than 30. Not a good omen. Point and click: Then there are those pushing computers into schools. We're told that multimedia will make schoolwork easy and fun. Students will happily learn from animated characters while taught by expertly tailored software.Who needs teachers when you've got computer-aided education? Bah. These expensive toys are difficult to use in classrooms and require extensive teacher training. Sure, kids love videogames—but think of your own experience: can you recall even one educational filmstrip of decades past? I'll bet you remember the two or three great teachers who made a difference in your life.
Then there's cyberbusiness. We're promised instant catalog shopping—just point and click for great deals. We'll order airline tickets over the network, make restaurant reservations and negotiate sales contracts. Stores will become obselete. So how come my local mall does more business in an afternoon than the entire Internet handles in a month? Even if there were a trustworthy way to send money over the Internet—which there isn't—the network is missing a most essential ingredient of capitalism: salespeople.
What's missing from this electronic wonderland? Human contact. Discount the fawning techno-burble about virtual communities. Computers and networks isolate us from one another. A network chat line is a limp substitute for meeting friends over coffee. No interactive multimedia display comes close to the excitement of a live concert. And who'd prefer cybersex to the real thing? While the Internet beckons brightly, seductively flashing an icon of knowledge-as-power, this nonplace lures us to surrender our time on earth. A poor substitute it is, this virtual reality where frustration is legion and where—in the holy names of Education and Progress—important aspects of human interactions are relentlessly devalued.
STOLL is the author of "Silicon Snake Oil--Second Thoughts on the Information Highway," to be published by Doubleday in April.
Thanks for that reality check Clifford Stall! Next thing you know, he'll be telling us that we CAN'T use LaserCats to travel through time to safe destroying the initial conditions which allowed LaserCats to even exist in the first place. You're not the boss of me NewsWeek writer Clifford Stall, you're not the boss of any of us!
This post is one that I commissioned myself to write in response to the many emails and messages that I have received from my amigos and amigas in Brasil, who were congratulating Canada in it's amazing Olympic victories, particularly the stand out win in hockey over the Americans.
I thought that I should reciprocate by summarizing how much these Olympics meant to Canadians and Canada as a nation. Although Canadians were reminded of the significance of the games to Canada every hour by the Canadian media, I am not sure how much of the positive propaganda proliferated beyond the boarders of Canadian media networks. So here is my review of what transpired over those 17 some days and why it these Olympics will be remembered as a true Canadian fairytale.
First, things got off to a bad start. Snow conditions were not great. Then tragedy struck and Greogian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili was killed in during a practice run. Backup plans for the snow were put into action and Nodar was honored during the opening ceremonies. But then the ceremonies (although very cool) had some problems of their own. The first nations leaders had not arrived at their seats when it was time to introduce them and the governor general had arrived just minutes earlier, so that whole scene was awkward and unrehearsed. Then, for the grand finale of the ceremony - the lighting of the torches - one of the torches didn't come out of the floor, leaving Catriona Le May Doan without anything to light. Also the flames that were being carried by Catriona and the others apparently went out seconds later off camera. Don't get me wrong, the ceremonies were great, but the errors happened at the worst possible times.
Despite the less than perfect start, Canadians were really excited. Visitors and foreign Olympians were interviewed and commented on the unexpected energy and patriotism shown by the Canadians in Vancouver. These traits didn't really fit our "conservative and reserved" idiom which is typically defined us.
Then the games begun. Although Canada had won Gold in winter Olympics in the past, we had never done it on home soil. This was our jinx and there was an underlying fear it would continue to haunt us. Almost two days into the games the jinx was still on. Some "dreams of gold" were shattered and others downgraded to silver and bronze. But then, along came Alexandre Bilodeau who drew inspiration from his cerebral palsy sticken brother Frederic, and won the Gold in men's mogle freestyle skiing. The jinx was broken and Canada has something to celebrate.
Over the next few days our momentum kept building as we won medals here and there, but Canada's OTP - Own The Podium plan didn't seem to be working. But somehow, the nation didn't seem to care. We had our stage and we had our pride and medals - although great focus points - were only icing on the cake (which we also intended on eating).
Then on February 19th, Jon Montgomery wons gold in men's skeleton. Jon didn't really have a sad or particularly inspirational prelude to his performance. He was a just a hard working "Joe" who trained hard and won. But it was the prologue to his victory that captured Canadian's hearts: his patented victory stretch, his parade through the Olympic village with a pitcher of beer in his hand and his jump onto the top of the podium expressed what many Canadians wanted to see: A competitive, patriotic and emotional Canadian uninhibitedly celebrating his victory and his country. Canada had it's mascot.
Two days later Canada has another tragedy on its hands; Therese Rochette, mother of figure skater Joannie Rochette died only hours after arriving in Vancouver to see her daughter skate. Joannie decided to continue skating earning the utmost respect of Canadian, competitors and views around the world.
In the meantime and over the next few days the hockey and curling competitions moved along. (For those who don't know, these are the blockbuster events of the games and there is a huge pressure on Canada to win both in the men's and women's). Curling was going as planed as was women's hockey but Canada's men are having a tough time in the hockey department. We almost lost to Switzerland (Switzerland!?!?) and then we actually lose to the USA which meant that we didn't qualify us for an automatic ticket to the quarter finals.
As the games progressed we still picked up some inspirational victories and we were subject to some crushing defeats, but the "Own The Podium" strategy is definitely in question. The USA took the lead in medal standings and it didn't look like Canada would even do better than the last Olympic games where we won 24 medals. But again the country didn't seem to care that much. The general public seemed to be fueled by it's own inner momentum.
But then along came the "TSN Turning Point" (TSN is a Canadian TV channel that only shows sports. Towards the end of a match TNS will declare a "TSN Turning Point". This is the moment in a game when the momentum shifted towards the eventual winner). The turning point according to me was February 24th. We had won a bronze medal in speed skating but the men's hockey team was playing an elimination game against the the Russians. Not only does Canada have a deep rivalry with Soviets (see 1972 Summit Series which was one of the defining moments in Canada's hockey history) but Russia also had Alexandre Ovechkin, arguably the best player in the world and one of my favorites. This was "do or die" for team Canada and the whole country was watching with excitement and nervousness. With very little suspense, our Canadian boys came out very strong and seemed to surprise the Russians and even some fans with their explosiveness and grit. The game was a 7-3 blowout victory for Canada. Ovechkin compared the Canadian players as "gorillas coming out of a cage". On that same night Canada took 3 more medals: a silver in Women's Relay Skating and both the gold and silver in the women's woman bobsled, totaling 4 medals for the day.
The next day (Feb 25th) the USA continued to dominate in the medals standing but Canada's women hockey team beat team USA for the gold. Then our new hero Joannie Rochette puts on an tearful and emotional preformance winning bronze.
February 26th was a day of mixed emotions for me. Although it probably topped the 24th in terms of accomplishments: Canada Hockey team won the elimination game vs. Slovakia; Our men take gold and bronze in short track skating as well as a gold in the relay; The women take silver in Curling (We totaled 4 medals!); but I was really hoping for the gold. It had really started to enjoy curling for the first time in my life while watching the women's teams. I was certain that they would beat Sweden. Our ladies took the loss in stride and with dignity so I felt a bit better.
The next day, February 27th Canada does the unthinkable. Winning 2 gold medals within minutes of each other: The first medal was our 11th which set a new Olympic record for "most golds won by host nation" then the second broke that record in record time. Next we won a bronze medal as a break while we waited for the much anticipated Gold medal game in men's curling. The game was exciting but our team was too strong and defeated Norway 6-3. This 3rd Gold medal of the day was huge! Not only did it break the record for "most golds won by host nation" for the third time that day, but it also tied the record for most golds won by any nation in any winter Olympic games. 4 medals and 3 of them gold, one Olympic record broken several times and another one tied. The fairly tale seem also complete.
Finally on February 28th, it was time for the event that hockey fans anticipate for 4 years: the gold medal game for men's hockey. The game was the last event of the Vancouver 2010 Olympic and Canada was watching. Half of the Canadian population watched the entire game and 80% watched at least some of it. Compare that to last years Superbowl which was the most watched event in US TV history which drew the attention of a mere 35% of the US population.
As for the game itself, both teams came out strong but it was Canada who scored first. Then Canada scored again. The US came back with a goal but it seemed that Canada would be able to hold them to a single goal. In the last two minutes however, the US pulled their goalie and put on the extra skater. The move paid off and the US scored with only seconds left. It felt like a moose kicking you in the stomach but it stunk even worse. The game went into "instant death" 4-on-4 overtime during which I must have gone through about 3 pairs of Snuggies. Finally on a second effort Iginla and Crosby connect and "Sid the Kid" Crosby (or as I like to call him: "Sidney the Kidney" Crosby) scores the game winning goal.
SIDE NOTE: For those who don't know. Sidney Crosby is a young Canadian who was the most anticipated player in hockey history since Wayne Gretzky. He was basically the new "Messiah" meant to renew interest in hockey in North America back in 2005 when the National Hockey League (NHL) was recovering from a player strike and was re-branding itself.
Anyway, the idea is that to some extent, Sidney Crosby represents the future of Canadian hockey (Alex Ovechkin is his Russian equivalent). That said, you can appreciate how symbolic it was that Sid scored one of the most important goals in Canadian hockey history. Naturally the country went crazy and the streets filled with people. That gold medal was not only revenge against the team that beat us in the preliminary round, but it also meant that Canada would now hold the record for most gold medals won by any country in any winter Olympics!
Finally it was time to end the games. The theme of the closing ceremonies was to make fun of ourselves. Whoever was in charge of the show certainly took advantage of the early mistakes in the opening ceremonies. The first thing they did was make fun of the torch that didn't work. The rest of the show may remind my fellow collegues at Instituto Stela of my "Stereotype Busters" presentation which can been seem below. My presentation was obviously less amazing and instead of displaying pictures of great canadian comedians (like Michael J. Fox), the ceremonies showcased the real ones. (For all you Michael J. Fox fans out there, you may want to check out my Tribe to Alex P. Keaton.) Neil Young sang "Long May You Run" which as by far the most touching performance of the closing ceremonies, possibly outdoing K.D. Lang's haunting rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". Joannie Rochette was chosen to carry the flag and lead Canadian athletes in the ceremonies which was touching and she was later given the Vancouver 2010 Terry Fox Award along with Slovenian cross-country skier Petra Majdic who competed despite terrible injury and also won. The Terry Fox was intended to go to atheletes who embody the spirit of Terry Fox. (For non-Canadians, Terry Fox was a young Canadian who lost a leg to cancer and began a historic run across Canada in an effort to raise money and awareness for cancer. Terry died during his run but is considered one of the greatest Canadians of all time. Over half a billion dollars of cancer research funds has been raised in his name.)
The fairytale was now complete: We had confronted our past demons and defeated them with Alexandre Bilodeau's gold medal. We had found our spirit in Jon Montgomery. We had shown courage against adversity through Joannie Rochette. We had won the final battle against our closest rivals defeating the US. Finally to top it all off we concluded with some good old fashion self deprecating Canadian humor and celebrated by being serenaded by some of out great artists. Most importantly however, Canada was able to show it's pride and patriotism not only to the outside world, but to itself. Canada somehow found it's collective voice and as it turns out we have a beautiful one.
So I hope this helps non-Canadian readers understand how important these games where to Canada. Particularly, I hope this will help my amigos and amigas in Brasil, understand Canadian patriotism. It may also help explain my occasional over exuberance when it comes to my country. It is also something to consider for 2016 when the Summer games will come to Rio de Janeiro. This will be a chance for Brasil to define itself, come together as a nation and give the world a chance to fall in love with "The Brasilian Way".
Before I end this post and show you all the clips I was talking about, I would like to apologize to my regular readers for the change of pace from my normal meaningless yet hopefully entertaining ramblings.
"Stereotype Busters" was a presentation I put on in Brazil where I try to make fun of Canadians and how people see us. You can see most of the presentation below, minus my narrative (which was the best part in my not-so-humble opinion).
This is Neil Young singing "Long May You Run" in the closing ceremonies.
This is K.D. Lang singing "Hallelujah" in the opening ceremonies.
Some might say that I am a highly intelligent, modest, generous, irresistably good looking, powerful, confident, wise, ruthless and yet a gentle, heroic and thriving young man. Now I would have quite the uphill battle arguing against them, but they would be outright mistaken to leave out my caring and forgiving nature, which is the keystone of the Mike that loved and cherished by us all... not to mention a pillar of modern society, a gentalman and a scholar. I think that I've talked enough about myself for now. What do you have to say about me?
Basically I do things, then I write about them. Other times, I don't do things, then I write about them. I also don't care to make the distinction at the time of writing. Read at own peril.
"If it ain't broke, your not putting enough bicep into it." - Mike McNulty
