Tributing Stuff (Part 9): Tribute to Ambigram

Made popular by Dan Brown's novel Angels and Demons, ambigrams are back in vogue after a few slumping centuries of being outside the spot (candle) light. As part 9 in my 397 part series "Tributing Stuff", I am tipping my hat to this freak of nature. Ambigrams are the "double joint" of the literary anatomy. The are mysterious and probably the result of black magic and or witchcraft which I may or may not be against depending on its current "tweetability". I have a TradeMark on that word so you can forget about using it George Stromboulompolobo..po... You know who you are!

Now I'm not saying that Ambigrams don't have a place in this world. Traveling circuses offer a great business model for this product of the underworld, right between the Siamese wolfmen and the Brearded women. I myself have a couple of these little cancers! But before I expose them to lethal doses of chemotherapy and radiation I thought I should share them with you children so that you have something worthwhile to point at while you eat your candy apple and cotton candy.

Be not frightened but do not approach the cage.

This ones Says "McNulty" written frontwards or backwards.


This one says Michael in one direction but turn it 180 degrees and it says McNulty, Behold:
Does this mean that I am a wizard? Of course not! Does it mean that I posses special powers? Probably. My point is that if you believe in something strong enough - no matter how impossible is many seem, you can easily end up in a straight-jacket within 3-4 months. Tops!

"Sleep tight mates, in your quilted Chambray nightshirts"


PS: If you want to make your own ambigrams simply solve THIS simple puzzle.

How to write a Dan Brown novel in about 22 easy steps

So I just finished reading Dan Brown's latest book "The Lost Symbol". I read it because of how much I like Dan's previous books - Deception Point, Angels and Demons & The Da Vinci Code. The other reason I read it is because it was based on the Freemasons and based in the mysterious city of Washington D.C., the link between which I have been fascinated by for the past few years.

The book really is good, there is no two ways about it. Naturally, Dan just applied his usual formula. If you want to write your own bestselling Dan Brown style book just these simple steps and you've got a sure bet:

1. Always start the story with a real live fact or quote. Something to get the readers feeling that this story is based in truth.
   
2. Get the reader engaged very quickly by packing the first few chapters with action and drama.
   
3. The story should start in the evening, but watch out; time is running out!
   
4. As one of your leading men you should include at least one mild mannered Harvard professor named Robert Langdon. He should be claustrophobic to the point of fearing elevators. Put Robert into an elevator if you have the chance.
   
5. The female lead (who ends up sparking some sort of romantic connection with Robert) should be a close relative to a main character who was either put in great danger or killed in the first few pages.
   
6. Other characters should be ridiculously important people of power and influence, but nobody you ever heard of. Robert should be well acquainted with them by the end if they survive.
   
7. Robert should get pulled into some crazy chase (usually international) involving one or more of the most highly secretive of authorities (never the normal police).
   
8. Your readers should have a hard time figuring out who is on whose side (except for Robert and his female lead; they are on the same side which fuels romantic tension).
   
9. The heart of the story should include one or more of the following (usually 2 of them):
   a) Recent scientific breakthrough
   b) Occult societies
   c) Religious secrets
   
10. The world (as we know it) is usually at stake.
11. There should be a bunch of puzzles & enigmas riddled with symbols and ancient history that only a highly educated symbologist (my spell check doesn't like that word) like Robert Langdon could possible solve. Sometimes his female lead has super unreal skills that are also essential to the plot.
12. People have to die.
13. Robert and your female lead should be constantly under pressure. You can't let your readers put down the book. This is key!
14. Lead your readers to believe that your story will be going in one direction and then go in the other. Repeat.
15. The reader should constantly be questioning why Robert isn't pocketing some of the cool stuff he runs into along the way.
16. At least once Robert's life should be put in great peril in a nightmarish claustrophobic scenario.
17. The story should come to a breathtaking culmination at which point the reader should realize who is good and who is bad.
18. The mastermind villain should turns out to be a fanatic idealist. He or she dies or is arrested.
19. Whatever the villain was trying to achieve (or find) ends up being something completely different than they thought. Usually simpler and less potent.
20. Usually only Langdon and a few others actually know the entire truth after all is said and done.
21. The reader should learn a valuable life lesson and gains a whole new outlook on life, religion, science or some occult society.
22. You can throw in some of your own ideas too it you want.

Originally I was going to write a review about the book, how it relates to popular conspiracy theories and I'll put up some links to related videos and fun stuff. Instead, I've been sidetracked by the Vancouver Olympic Women's Hockey then the Ice Skating (both won by Canada BTW). I promise I'll do a good job on the review at a later date and stir up my own conspiracy theory, but only if I have time, which I won't.

Canadian Olympic Flag

Here is a flag that I invented for the Vancouver Olympics. I'm quite confident that I didn't violate any copyrights or anything so I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now.

Vancouver 2010 Olympics

Here is everything you need to know about the current state of affairs at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics



Ice Hockey Schedule and Results


Luge Schedule and Results

Tribute to walking birds

In times like these one must ask oneself: "Who deserves a tribute?" The answer has evaded many of our great leaders and senior officials. However, after months of introspective contemplation and the process of elimination, I have identified the one essential element of the universe left un-tributed - the self tribute having been done months ago (see Tribute to Beautiful but not till you finish reading this) - and that essential element is walking birds.

Although previously thought to be no more than ancient myth, recent publications have produced hard hitting facts proving beyond a reasonable doubt that the evidence of the ability of birds to walk is stronger than say, the misfitting of an arthritic man's glove. Classic examples of these publications include best selling author Herbert George Wells' little known gem "The War of the Worlds" as well as the animated adventure series "Duck Tails". Both publications were popularized when translated to video in which main characters were generally played by quacks.

Scientists, different kinds of scientists and Scientologists alike agree that recent publications hold compelling evidence of our delicious 2 legged friends' ability to strut. This high resolution video was recently uncovered may hold the truth about these flying felines(some detail may be lost by those not using HD monitors with cat-like response times):


For more exciting updates regarding the "development" of this hot story please click here after you are done reading my post.
K, this blog entry is getting longer than I originally planned so lets get right to the point. I found some bird footprints. Some of you may have already guessed that they are the eerily large ones in the picture at teh top of this post. You people would be wrong... if I was lying which i am not; so that makes you correct and a winner in your own hearts and minds. So I now have this evidence of birds walking on the snow of my mom's driveway. There were two of them and they were pretty big. They came from the back and walked up the driveway. They turned left to the neighbor's and went up to the front door. There they probably realized that they couldn't break through the door impenetrable handle technology without trained human hands, then turned back towards the driveway and out onto the streets. Whether they were responsible for the Johnson's sudden foreclosure or it was his crippling gambling addiction will remain a mystery for now. But one thing has become devastatingly clear: and this is that the theme song for Duck Tales animated adventure is a national treasure and should be guarded at all cost to human kind.



In all fairness I don't know what left those tracks in the snow on that fateful day, but I do know that I won't be going into the backyard EVER without my trusty Amazonian machete and at LEAST 3 cans of spinach.