Two Baratas And A Toalete

Last night I get up to use the banheiro, but as I turn on the light i notice a barata on the floor. He's obviously making painstaking efforts to be all nonchalant, like he's in an exclusive club and he knows he shouldn't be there but he's trying to fit in by talking to everybody as they walk by as he awkwardly half dances to the beat of the music. If you don't know what I'm talking about picture Cris Kattan or Will Farrell in the recurring "What is Love?" SNL skit that eventually turned into the unfortunate film "A Night at the Roxbury". How either of them ever got work after that is remarkable. Anyway this barata is not fooling me and I pull out my shoe and pull a move that Eddie Murphy's mom, Dr. Evils oriental assassin or Iraqi Journalists would all approve of. Now according to my spin doctor/attorney, I didn't actually kill him: All I did was "relieved him of his ability to continue living." But then on my way back to the banheiro I see a second and even bigger barata. This time I reach for my bug spray. But since I can't afford the prestigious "Bug-be-gone" I use the knock off and understandable less marketable "Bug-do-your-best-to-refrain-from-being-here" spray, which, incidentally, is also a client of my attorney. Then I put the second little guy out of my misery and dump the corps in the toalete. But as I'm doing this I hear a car go by and someone yodeling that time tested yelp that Goofy does every time he falls off a cliff. Don't act as if you don't know what I'm talking about either: Disney would use in any gravity induced crash scenario. But then nixt thing I know I wake up in my bed. Was it all a dream? Of course not, things that stupid are always real! The 2 not-as-alive-as-usual baratas in my toalete would agree.

BTW: I couldn't find the Goofy Yodel online but I found some guy with even more extra time than me who was also in search of it a couple years back. He gathered some occurrences of its use. Thanks Snitch:

Home on the Range - In Echo Mine when Junior falls off the cliff
A Goofy Movie
An Extremely Goofy Movie
The Three Musketeers - When Goofy falls out of the windmill
Hunchback of Notre Dame - As the soldiers fall after Quasimodo pulls the rope they were climbing.
The Rescuers When Orville falls backwards from the top of the New York building at the end of the film AND when Madame Medusa runs over Orville with her swamp-mobile trapping him inside.
Cinderella - When both the King and the Grand Duke fall from the chandelier.
Bedknobs & Broomsticks - heard during the soccer game when the king kicks the hyena.
Pete's Dragon - when Doctor Terminus is tied to the harpoon shot from a cannon.

Special note: To those who understood what I was alluding to with my title here is an extra layer of intrigue. In Portuguese the word "girl"can be translated to "garota" which sounds quite a bit like "barata". Don't puke your guts out!

Update: News Flash: Breaking Story: video correctly identifying the sound that I am referring to as "Goofy's Hollar" as per the Disney nomenclature. This video also identifies other times throughout history when use of the Goofy Hollar would have been appropriate.

Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted Chambray nightshirts!